Angel's Democratic Republic of Happiness

My new "blog"
So, I've been keeping up this ridic Tumblr, showing my even more ridic experiences in online dating. You should follow it.

Online Dating Is Literally The Worst

My new blog
I'll continue to not use this one ever but muse about using it for personal posts. BUT, in the meantime, I made this fabulousness, chronicling my foibles in online dating. Follow this shiz. Thanks. 

Online Dating Is Literally The Worst

Help Us Support Planned Parenthood
Originally posted by brenden at Help Us Support Planned Parenthood
Originally posted by theljstaff at Help Us Support Planned Parenthood

Join us in standing up for reproductive health and education. Planned Parenthood, the organization that delivers reproductive health care, sex education and information to millions of people worldwide, has come under fire in the U.S. lately, with many politicians on both state and federal level seeking to end funding (and in a few cases succeeding).

During the month of May, you can send a specially designed Planned Parenthood vgift to your friends to help support this cause. (And if you need someone to send it to, frank is always happy to receive gifts!) There are three variations ($1, $5 and $10) for you to choose from, but they'd all look good on your profile when your friends know that you stand by something so important.


Thank you all for your help in our support for Planned Parenthood. This promotion ends June 1, 2012; LiveJournal is not affiliated with Parent Parenthood. For more information about Planned Parenthood, please visit:

-The LiveJournal Team

(If you'd like to help spread the word that we're raising funds for Planned Parenthood, you can crosspost this entry in your own journal or community by using the repost button below!)

Twitter Machine
Is anybody here on Twitter? I've just prettied the fuck out of mine, so I think I'll be using it a bit more.

Le Twitter. Follow me and I'll follow back, etc etc etc

Kiss Nail Dress review
For those of you who aren't in the know, I recently joined Influenster, which is a program where you do some surveys about your lifestyle, then receive free boxes of products that match your needs and interests. This is for real, not some weird spammy thing that is selling my information to a Nigerian Prince or something. Anyway, I recently got my first box around Valentine's, which was aptly titled "The LOVE Voxbox." Cute, right? There were all kinds of neat things which I may review, but I'm first going to review a product that unfortunately didn't really live up to my expectations.

In the past, I've been a big fan of Sally Salon Effects for nails. Basically, they are sticker-like things that you throw on your nails instead of painting them. Alright, I concede that isn't the most helpful of descriptions, so check out All Lacquered Up's review of the Sally product to see what I mean. Anyway, I've used the Sally product countless times on my toes, because I am a lazy bastard when it comes to dolling up my feet. What? Don't judge me.

My one beef with the Sally product has always been that the line really doesn't have a ton of options-- there are definitely a few cute designs, but at $10 a pop, I would like a little more flair. And that's where Kiss really jumped in and filled a gap in the market. Nail Dress is Kiss's version of the Sally Strips, but the key difference is the designs. Let's compare:

                  Sally                                                          Kiss

Sure, there's some overlap in design, but the one key difference is that the Kiss designs are solidly funkier- what  with the rhinestones and fabulousness. LOVES IT. Naturally, I couldn't wait to try them myself. Here's what Kiss has to say about their product:

Kiss Nail Dress

Fashion That Sticks

Introducing Kiss Nail Dress, ultimate nail fashion for tips and toes! Just peel, apply, and shape for a manicure that lasts up to 10 days. On in minutes, off in seconds without remover. Nail Dress is available in 18 different styles, many of them featuring 3-dimensional jeweled designs. Check out Peplum, a deep black with multi-colored gems for a pop of color, or Babydoll, for a golden and glamorous jeweled look. Skip the topcoat, Nail Dress has it built in.


With 28 strips in each package, you can cut up your extras to create designs that can be used on top of polished or artificial nails. Nail Dress doesn’t dry out the way other polish strips can, so you can save them to use on your next DIY mani. A nail design booklet is included in each package, just in case you need a little inspiration.


And don’t forget about your feet! Nail Dress looks awesome on toes, too – just use the square side of the sticker for a perfect fit.


Where to Buy

Nail Dress’ suggested retail is $6.99 and is available in all major drug chains and mass retailers like WalMart, CVS and Walgreens.

Visit to learn more!

I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the application of this type of product. I removed the polish from my toes, scraped up the surface a bit with a nail file, swiped down with acetone to clear debris, applied the product with the given instructions, and then covered with two coats of Seche Vite top coat. Now, with Sally, this makes my little decals stay on for a solid three to four weeks without much wear. . . with Kiss, I woke up the next morning and four of my toes were naked. That's right, four of the "Nail Dresses" had lifted completely off of my feet and disappeared into the depths of my bed, never to be found again. Within one more day, the rest had come clear off of my toes.

To say I was annoyed would be an understatement.

Bottom line: pay the extra few dollars for Sally until Kiss changes the formula in their adhesive. Funky patterns only take you so far. . . especially if they aren't staying put!

*I received this product complimentary from Influesnter for testing and review purposes           

Who's going to Belize this summer?


We booked a Groupon deal (tis here, if you're interested. It's a VERY good deal!) and air is about $700 from LAX. Not too shabby!

Of politics and extremity
I've always been a rather political person. From a very young age (I'm talking 7, 8 years old), I would write letters to the White House, watch the news on election day with bated breath, and just generally be abnormally fascinated with the political process in my country. As I grew older, I became equally as fascinated with the way governments work in other places and even on a theoretical, philosophical level. It should be no surprise that after spending my high school years debating these things as the debate team captain that I decided to study political science (with an emphasis on international relations) in college.

I suppose I should get my political view point out from the start here, just so there's no confusion: I'm a registered Democrat (like almost everybody, I share the same affiliation as my parents- though my dad now identifies as a Libertarian), I'm socially pretty darned liberal, but I'm fiscally rather conservative. I believe that everyone has one issue that is, to them, a deal breaker-- it defies party lines or 11th commandments. And that brightline for me is the stuff I consider civil rights: women's rights, gay rights, etc. I truly believe that on these issues, you will either be on the right side of history (equality) or you won't be-- but there is not, nor should there be, a gray area for matters of fundamental human rights.

All that said, I'm actually fairly moderate. . . like most people, really. No one party is that much better than the others, it's just that my brightline voting issues place me squarely on one side. Heck, if the Republicans actually adhered to their small government rhetoric and didn't legislate morality, I'd actually probably be registered with them.

But goddamnit if the current political climate isn't making me into an extreme political citizen. Ever since Obama was even a glimmer in the eye of the Democratic party, it has become socially acceptable for people to spew blatantly bigoted, racist bullshit all day, every day. Don't tell me it's not; spend five minutes on Facebook and I guarantee you'll find all kinds of coded language and thinly veiled racism. It's disgusting. Equally as bad, this birth control debate has really brought out the absolute worst sexism in people. Blatant sexism.

I refuse to be that person that hand waves away this bigotry by saying, "Oh, they don't really hate women." Bullshit. Yes, they do- they really do hate women and gay people and black people. No one would question the President's heritage if he were an old white dude and you certainly would not have lawsuits filed in court that he's ineligible to be President because he's "mulatto." No one gives a shit what old white men do in the bedroom (or Craigslist), but God forbid a gay person or a woman decide to enjoy sex.

I've gotten to the point where I just issue a zero tolerance policy statement about these things- whether veiled racism against the President, attacks on gay rights, or attacks on the fundamental rights of women. The biggest problem is that we let these bigots think that their opinion is an ok one to have when it absolutely is not. As such, I now make a point of calling a duck a big, racist duck. While that may not turn their reflection inward. . . either will me trying to rationally, calmly talk to them about it. At least this way may fill them with a little shame.

One such example, is right here behind this fancy cut.Collapse )

Ricky Martin plans to get married Jan 28 (my 8th grade self dies a little)


Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin and his boyfriend Carlos Gonzalez will marry on Jan. 28 in New York, the El Nuevo Dia newspaper reported on its Web site Sunday.

Martin and his partner, according to a source close to the Puerto Rican daily, will wed in the U.S. city which last June 24 approved marriage between homosexual couples. Since he announced his sexual orientation in March 2010, the artist, who on Dec. 24 turned 40, has expressed his support for marriage among people of the same sex. He also said last June that he favors homosexual marriage in Puerto Rico, where it is still illegal. "What I want is for them to say no to discrimination so that equality among us human beings may be a reality in my country," said Martin at that time.

Martin, who on Nov. 4 was granted Spanish citizenship, admitted he is gay on March 27, 2010, calling his homosexuality "a gift," on his Web page in a communique.

From that point on, the popular artist has participated in events supporting homosexuals, among them one last March in New York when he received the Vito Russo prize from Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) for his promotion of rights equality for the gay community. Martin took advantage of the event to confirm his much-speculated-about romantic relationship with Gonzalez. "I only wanted to be free and I can say that today I'm free," said Martin at the event at which he especially thanked "my partner, my boyfriend, Carlos. You're the greatest." 

Follow me behind the cut to drown your sorrows with more sexy man pictures.Collapse )

The World's GREATEST Product EVER

I declare these tissues to be the greatest thing ever invented. Penicillin? Fuck that noise. Computers? Please. These tissues are the bee's knees, legs, and his arms.

Presently, I have a cold and my nose is red something fierce--but blowing my nose on one of these bad boys is something like I imagine caressing baby Jesus' beard must be like. I don't know what exactly is in them that makes them so magical, but I can only assume it's unicorn smiles and crack.

I will never, ever go back. . . and either should you.

*ZAP!* (Laser Hair Removal)
Since April, I've been getting laser hair removal. Hey, I'm half southern Italian- don't judge me.

I spent a long time considering laser hair removal because I really, truly hate shaving. Don't get me wrong, despite my love of making Italian jokes about myself, I'm actually not a particularly hairy person; I just freaking hate shaving. Like, a lot. In fact, for the two years prior to starting laser, I had been a regular at the local Brazilian waxing place, because there's literally nothing I hate shaving more than my bikini area (why remove the hair at all? Because I prefer it that way, damnit.).

When I first looked into getting laser, I was immediately turned off by two things: the price and that, apparently, lasers don't work on people with my complexion. As it turns out, older lasers only worked on white people with dark hair, but newer lasers are perfectly effective and safe on people with darker skin (so, if you're like me, make sure you find out that your office has the safe kind of laser for your skin-- nobody wants to get burned up!). The money issue was a bit more complex to address. You see, in California, laser must be administered by either a registered nurse or a doctor and because of this fact, prices are pretty staggering. For instance, most places sell laser sessions in 6 session packages (you'll see this a lot on Groupon)-- it's my understanding that most folks will see a 70% reduction in hair after 6 treatments, but to get over 90% hair reduction, you need 12 or so treatments. And let me tell you, those 12 sessions come at a princely sum---- at local doctor's offices (mostly plastic surgeons), a full Brazilian for 12 sessions was going to run me something like $5000! FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.  Hell to the no.

But then I found a place out of Las Vegas that has a really interesting business model. See, in Nevada, any-ol-jokester can administer laser, so most places (including where I go) have licensed estheticians with thousands of hours of laser training do it.  Where I go is in an actual doctor's office, but the work is done by an esthetician. What makes this company so different, though, is that they run their lasering sort of like a tanning salon membership. Hear me out. You sign an 18 month contract and for that period, you get unlimited laser treatments (though they suggest coming in every 6 weeks) and free lifetime touchups. Price is monthly based on what areas you want done--- my full Brazilian is $50, my under arms are $12, and my upper lip is $10. Right now, though, they are running a special with FULL BODY laser for $99 a month-- insane. Anyway, I can either pay $72 a month for 18 months OR pay upfront and get a 20% discount (which I did). So, all said and done, I'm paying $1037 for all my laser.

I was absolutely blown away by the difference that just one treatment made- seriously. After that one treatment, everything started growing much much slower and much more fine. As of right now, I'm seven treatments in and I would say I have just over a 50% overall reduction in hair-- there are patches, but everything is growing much slower and lighter.

After a few treatments, your crotch will bear a striking resemblance to one of those Chinese Crested dogs that frequently wins Ugly Dog contests.

Allow me to address the elephant in the room: pain. Ok, I have a freaky high pain tolerance--- everyone comments on it. I can get a Brazilian wax and not even flinch; in fact, I regularly have jolly, cheerful conversations with the lady waxers. So, the first few laser treatments felt like absolutely nothing. The laser technicians would all ask me if I could even feel it and, while I could, it wasn't anything more than a mild sting. If you have tattoos, think of the sensation of tattooing (which I don't think hurts particularly much either), but dialed back about 95%.

And then my world came crashing down.

Somewhere around session five, things started to hurt. You see, each treatment they turn the laser up higher and higher, so apparently my threshold is five sessions in. I can't fully put into words how terribly this hurt, but just imagine hot needles stabbing your upper lip area and that little crease at the bottom of your nose. Then imagine your inner labia (if you have labia, that is). Yeah.

Session six involved me having a mild panic attack in the car on my way over. My heart was beating fast, I was breathing super fast, and I was scared. In fact, when the girl went to laser my face, I instinctively (and violently) flinched away from her. I apologized, but I couldn't stop myself-- it was completely involuntary.

About this time, I realized I needed to find some sort of solution for pain management. You can get topical numbing cream via prescription, but I don't have insurance, so I'd have to go pay at the urgent care, then pay full price for the 'script. Lame. I mean, I'd do it if that was my only choice, but I'd rather keep the $200 in my pocket, you know? So, I investigated and talked to people. One of the laser techs said, "I know it sounds CRAZY, but my manager SWEARS by it." What was it, you ask? Anal-eze. Yeah.

So, this is what I now do to manage my laser pain. Honestly, the last treatment I couldn't feel anything, despite the machine once again being turned up.

  • One hour before my appointment, I pop 800 mg of ibuprofen
  • 30 mins before my appointment, I rub Anal-eze all over any of the areas to be lasered.
  • When I get to the appointment and get undressed, I again rub Anal-eze all over the areas to be lasered . 
  • During the lasering, the technician uses ice packs on the areas. The ice is a MIRACLE. I really believe the ice is the biggest thing causing me not to feel anything.

And that's that. I can't feel a damned thing anymore and it is wonderful.

If y'all have any laser-related questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them :)